we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
