garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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