Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
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