ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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