upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
