I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
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