just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Randomize
