I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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