Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
