I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
