i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
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