Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
