Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
