Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
