if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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