True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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