So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
