i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
