Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
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