I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
