You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
