are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
