we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
