she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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