your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Randomize
