so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize