The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
P.S. I can't hear my feet
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
