false alarm. still invincible.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
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