Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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