white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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