And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize