what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
