he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
