Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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