Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
