I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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