i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Randomize
