I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe