so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
