I'm gonna have a badass scar
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?