your parents love me but you hate me
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
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