Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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