Apparently you make a good broom.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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