in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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