i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
