My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Randomize
