so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
