I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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