Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
