Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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