Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Randomize
