Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
