if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
