hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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