I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
