Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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