Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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