I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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