Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
