I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
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could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
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I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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