Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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