I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
