it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
