UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I have tasted many bathrooms
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
