It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
