So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
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